September 9, 2008

crickets

or, rather, birdsong on the autumn air outside my window, the smell of my neighbor's bbq wafting in on smoky breeze, the poignant silence from the absent family that lived downstairs until sunday took them to new adventures. simple soundtrack to a mellow evening. it's been awhile since i've updated you, dear reader, on the adventures of erica, but frankly, i don't have anything witty, or inspiring, or exciting to share. unfortunately for you, i feel like writing anyway. i won't hold it against you if your attention wanders to more engrossing arenas.

my run went better today. that's a start. yesterday's was a painful reminder that i've been neglecting my newly acquired habit; lead feet and mediocre songs exacerbated an already distracted mind. however, run i did. at least the struggle of that run centered my flitting thoughts in one focused beam of physical perseverance. i fell into bed last night, more sleepy than i'd been in awhile. with the relative ease of today's run and the memories of a beautiful pre-sunset evening run by the lake to keep me company, sleep should find me a ready participant tonight.

it continues to surprise me how life can be such a dynamic, will-'o'-the wisp experience. one week finds me expecting the next week to continue down a certain path; bewilderingly, the next week may find me someplace completely different than i had anticipated. while the uncertainty and wonder of the subtle transition from future to present has held some serendipitous surprises as well as some staggering disappointments, i find myself wishing, for the moment, i could see a little farther ahead.

regardless of my lack of foresight, i find i am continually blessed with new opportunities to refine myself, my ideas, my beliefs and my core as each experience is assimilated and i am held to measure--a painful and joyous continual evolution of self-discovery. i must say, that this future/present/past has been far different than what i would've pictured for myself.

right now, the puzzle that makes up my life feels like some bits and pieces are missing here and there. while i'm reconciling myself to those bits that remain out of my control, i'm slowly searching for those pieces that i can meld into place. decisions await and reluctance is dominant at the moment as i slowly gather my courage and my wits.

in the meantime, i've had some wonderful weekends and breathtaking moments of beauty that sparkle in each day. i wish my mind was somehow digitized and i could download the pictures of these last couple weeks to share them with you. the sun on my face and the sound of the water lapping the boat as i lazed on the river with my parents this past weekend. the elements of design found in the builder's parade of homes i visited with my mom, the pride i felt as her house swept almost all of the awards at the ceremony last friday night. the comfort of a father's blessing and the safety of family. the joy of birthdays celebrated for good friends, laughter and conversation keeping good company. the view of mt. adams and mt. rainier in the crystal clear sky on both legs of the journey across washington state.

a night out with the girls at the triple door 2 weeks ago, noah's wonderful lyrics and beautiful voice pairing well with the delicious food, followed the next morning by introducing 2 good friends to the wonders of saturday brunch at maltby cafe. the decadent luxury of mid-day movie watching, a meandering walk through the neighborhood with impulsive gathering of the season's first plump, juicy blackberries. stolen nap on that afternoon and dinner and another movie. sisters, bro-in-laws and nieces all gathered for sunday dinner. nate coming to my rescue with a replacement headlight. watching my niece, emma, truly walk for the first time (and applaud herself for it, too!). it's been a good summer, hasn't it?














4 comments:

the veggie paparazzo said...

I enjoyed this post; it was really evocative for me.

As far as the running goes, you didn't want to do it and you did it anyway because you knew it was the right thing to do for yourself. That's quite a victory. :)

RMG said...

Ok, so Erica, I had no idea you had a blog and I randomly found it and it is beautiful and I love you and miss you SO much! I loved this entry--you have a great writing style--I hope you don't mind, but I'm coming back here often so keep the good stuff coming! Did I mention that I love you? When are you making the trek to Vancouver to ease my boredom as life w/2 baby boys?

Love,
Maria

erita said...

maria--thanks for your kind comments re: my blog. i mostly just blab, so i'm glad to hear i'm not boring you out of your mind :)

i totally miss you too! i can't believe how big your boys are getting--they look so much like you!

i must make the trek to vancouver soon--email me and we'll make some plans!

Elise said...

I found your blog a few months past while looking for your mother's email address. I know, a long way from there to here, but I am glad I wandered or I would have missed out on such great writing, pictures and you. I peek in when I have an open lunch, thinking I'll just spend a few minutes catching up but then the next thing I know, it is well past 1:00 and I still don't want to stop reading and looking at funny videos.

Thank you for sharing and if you make it down to Vancouver, I know the best bookstore in Portland and would love to escape the rain with you there for a few hours.

Keep your chin up,
Elise

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